Published: August 30, 2008 11:31 pm      

RUGGIERO: Having fun with a serious game

I’m in a frivolous frame of mind (what’s new?) so today I come to you with a lighthearted approach to an otherwise very serious game. I’ve dug up nine interesting (at least I hope so) tidbits on the subject of golf. Enjoy.

PGA professionals make obscene amounts of money. Actually, lots of people make obscene amounts of money. I read recently that Judge Judy takes home $45 million yearly for being generally rude and annoying. In contrast, the distinguished Gene Sarazen won the 1935 Masters and banked a mere $1,500 for his effort.

•••

The proverb is that “practice makes perfect.” And, for the most part, that’s true. Bruce Lietzke, a reasonably successful tour player, was not known for his personal pledge to preparation. At the end of one particular season, his caddy determined to discover Lietzkes’ commitment to training and placed a banana in his bosses’ golf bag. To his dismay, the caddy uncovered the rather rotten and foul fruit in the bag two months later, proving Lietzke had not gone near his clubs while on hiatus.

•••

My favorite Masters memory is Ben Crenshaw’s win in 1995. Two weeks prior to his cherished victory, Gentle Ben received a putting lesson from mentor Harvey Penick, in which the guru reminded Ben never to allow his putter head to pass his hands. Penick died prior to Crenshaw’s victory, but I am certain that he had a front row seat at Augusta that teary Sunday afternoon.

•••

Some kids demonstrate greatness at an early age. Certainly, Tiger Woods could not conceal his God-given skills as a 5-year-old phenom on the Mike Douglas show. Jack Nicklaus wasn’t quite so remarkable at an early age, but he did play with a prowess of a prodigy. At the age of 10, his very first recorded nine-hole score was a 51.

•••

In the “you should talk” category, a 1998 Sports Illustrated article quoted none other than Tommy Bolt as saying that Tiger Wood’s occasional outbursts of anger on the course were inappropriate. This is the same Tommy Bolt who was told by his caddy to use his 4-iron from 100 yards during a tournament. Asked why he should use a long iron for such a short shot, his caddy responded that the 4-iron was the only club left in his bag. Bolt, in inevitable fits of rage, had wiped out his entire bag.

•••

I’m one-half Italian and one-quarter English and Irish. I am especially proud of my Irish heritage. My favorite golf commentator, goofball David Feherty, is a native of Northern Ireland. His personality personifies the merriment of the Irish people. I had the blessed occasion to play Royal County Down in Newcastle, Northern Ireland. There are no words to describe the experience.

•••

No one is more of a Seinfeld fan than I am. I know the lines of every show better than the actors themselves. Remember the episode about JFK’s golf clubs and bag? Elaine was instructed to purchase them at auction for her eccentric boss J. Peterman. Well, believe it or not, those clubs were auctioned off in real life at a 1996 celebrity auction. Who bought the clubs and bag and for how much? The JFK golf set went for $750,000 and was purchased by none other than California Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger.

•••

Okay, I lied. Feherty isn’t my favorite golf analyst. Johnny Miller is. And, with good reason. Miller knows the game and he isn’t afraid to ruffle a few feathers. He was also at one time a very, very good player. He is the first golfer in history to win both the U.S. Junior Amateur and the U.S. Open. He is also the first player in history to win the first three PGA events to begin a season. He accomplished that feat in 1974. Nobody hit irons into the greens like Johnny Miller.

•••

It’s hard to believe that there are still folks who believe that O.J. didn’t do it. The evidence was shocking and mountainous against him and yet, thanks to a combination of very good and very bad legal representation, O.J. today roams the golf courses of America. Oddly, one of his many verbal misfires during the trial had to do with the game of golf. While being interviewed by the police, Simpson claimed that during the time of the murders, he was in his backyard “chipping with a fairway wood.” Huh?

I wonder if, while practicing, he was wearing his golf glove. Or, maybe it didn’t fit.

Until next week, keep it in the fairway.

Ken Ruggiero is a local golf instructor and has been writing this column for the past 23 seasons.