Niagara Gazette

March 8, 2014

LETTERS FROM THE ISLAND: Time to take stock of recent Island news

By Doug and Polly Smith
Niagara Gazette

Niagara Gazette — Dear Mainland Clock-Watchers — Time’s a-wastin’, as our comic-strip cousin Snuffy Smith used to yowl when a new batch of moonshine came in. Tonight, 2 a.m. becomes 3 a.m. and we “lose” an hour’s sleep in exchange for later daylight.

As if this daylight were worth saving.

Anyway, some quick thoughts:

• The wind and sun have conspired to whip the snow on our bedroom skylight into the shape of a toilet seat. Honest. It does sort of sum up the winter.

• Next big thing over here is the dispute over “vacation” or “tourist” homes. Evidently some of our neighbors are renting to out-of-towners for short occupancy and, according to some folks, some of the visitors behave badly, so they’ve taken their complaints to the Town Board. Some years ago a chap on the river rented his to the manager of the Niagara Rapids for the summer; would be a shame if that sort of thing was criminalized. Bad situations make bad law. How about all the permanent residents who throw loud parties ALL the time and worse yet, don’t invite us …

• Poor John Travolta. He fell victim to Sunday Night Fever and so mangled the introduction of an Oscar singer that Doug turned to Polly and asked, “Is this the gal from England with only one name?” (Adele). We’ve seldom seen a man so sincerely contrite, and who among us has never gone “blank” on a familiar name? Doug sure has; the editors of this column have saved his butt often enough to make pot roast. We’re no big fans of his, but for heaven’s sake, give Josh Treverton a break.

• Last Saturday’s retirement party for former Gazette writer Bill Wolcott was the social event of the season. We should have known he’d have had such fascinating friends and a lovely family, besides.

• Next, next big thing over here is the new recycling bins, supposed to arrive just about the time our own yellow peril becomes more duct tape than plastic. The new ones, supposedly, will have lids and take up more space than some Falconwood homes. Even in preview, they’re getting mixed reviews, as perhaps too large for some older folks to handle. If we ever run into some older folks, we’ll ask ‘em.

• Season’s billings: Our E-Z Pass statement was a single sheet. Usually it’s three. Our plowing bill, on the other hand …

• Speaking of the Oscars, bloviator Bill O’Reilly was vituperatively (his word of the day) disrespectful Monday night to Kim Novak’s Academy Award appearance. Shame on him. Wonder how he’ll look when HE’s 82, if that’s allowed to happen.

• Next, next, next big thing: A redemption center, and it’s not a church. Details next week.

Come visit. If you’re an hour late, we’ll understand.

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