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Columns | Letters  |

Published: June 11, 2006 12:36 am    print this story  

Pouty lips shouldn’t equal lenience

Men shouldn’t hesitate to report domestic violence

When you’re at the wrong end of a gun barrel, sex doesn’t matter.

The person holding a quivering bullet inches from your head could be a 200-pound man resembling a Greek god, or a 100-pound woman resembling Mary-Kate Olsen. It won’t matter.

That’s what police officers face every time they step across the threshold of a home embroiled in a domestic situation. Officers take each situation just as seriously. So should the public.

It could be a teenage boy who comes out of the bedroom swinging, or a housewife with a hunting knife. Just because one is pumping testosterone doesn’t mean arrests won’t be made in both cases.

The cuffs are coming out, either way.

Local police say the men who do come forward to report abuse act embarrassed, and are reluctant to do so. That’s ridiculous.

If a social stereotype is standing in the way of victims getting their aggressors behind bars, then the stereotype has got to go. The public has to think an abusive relationship, not a sissy boyfriend or husband.

Because the facts indicate women can inflict just as many cuts and bruises as their men can. That goes for bullet holes, too.

Domestic abuse drains police departments of valuable time, and it provides the most dangerous situation for officers to walk into. It needs to stop, but in order for it to stop, it needs to be reported.

And if men feel they can’t step forward and admit their wives or girlfriends — or daughters — are hurting them, the black eye of domestic abuse in our communities won’t ever heal.

It’s a painful situation all around. If a victim comes forward, he or she runs the risk of getting someone they love thrown in jail. Society has been encouraging women to get the guts to come forward for years, and take that risk.

It’s time to widen that encouragement to both genders.

Can’t stand to see your tender, feminine love behind bars?

Then get the message out that it’s not OK to hit — whether you’re wearing lipstick or aftershave.

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