Niagara Gazette

Niagara Living

August 4, 2008

NIAGARA WRITERS: The exotic dancer and the rowdy red hats

By Doug Smith

Ring, ring … “Hi, this is Midnight Mel, how can I help you?”

“I’d like you to come out to my house Saturday afternoon and show off for my wife.”

“What time?”

“About 2 p.m.”

“Yeah, I can handle that.” Click.

I never thought it would be that easy. And it wasn’t.

The occasion was Polly’s splash party for her ladies’ club. It’s something new in her life, the sorority she never had as a girl. They go to museums and tea rooms and theaters. They carouse and gossip. Now she was designated hostess for “Princess Polly’s Wet & Wild Pool Party.” I was specifically disinvited. No men allowed. “Go find a ballgame,” she said.

In 1995, the year of our 60th birthdays, Polly hired me a ’40s swing band; six months later I retaliated with a theater and an actress. We then vowed, “No more surprises.”

Still, 20 rowdy women in crimson hats and bathing suits, this demanded action, say like a visit from a handsome exotic dancer with easy-off wardrobe, unannounced. But to guard the secret, I needed a “go-between” to handle return calls.

I recruited our daughter, our own flesh and blood, to help procure a “hunk” for the woman who gave her birth. “I’ll do it, Dad,” she said, “but I’m not saying it’s a good idea.”

I probed the personals in that Alice’s Restaurant weekly where you can get anything you want. “Exotic Male Dancer, Low Rates.” I got a generic recording and left a message.

Minutes later our daughter called.

“Did you call a dancer?”

“Yeah, just now.”

“He called here. Guy named Ogden. Mostly, he giggled.”

Scratch Ogden. Next stop, the Internet.

A search for “Exotic Male Dancers Buffalo New York” turned up grinders far and wide, but Midnight Mel had a local number. He offered not only “clean, classy entertainment” for bridal showers and bachelorette parties, but also had a gorilla suit for children’s birthdays. Forget Thomas More, THIS was a man for all seasons.

Text Only | Photo Reprints
Niagara Living
Featured Ads
House Ads
AP Video
SKorea Ferry Toll Hits 156, Search Gets Tougher Video Shows Possible Syrian Gas Attack Cubs Superfans Celebrate Wrigley's 100th Raw: Cattle Truck Overturns in Texas Admirers Flock to Dole During Kansas Homecoming Raw: Erupting Volcanoes in Guatemala and Peru Alibaba IPO Could Be Largest Ever for Tech Firm FBI Joining Probe of Suburban NY 'Swatting' Call U.S. Paratroopers in Poland, Amid Ukraine Crisis US Reviews Clemency for Certain Inmates Raw: Violence Erupts in Rio Near Olympic Venue Raw: Deadly Bombing in Egypt Raw: What's Inside a Commercial Jet Wheel Well Raw: Obama Arrives in Japan for State Visit Raw: Anti-Obama Activists Fight Manila Police Motels Near Disney Fighting Homeless Problem Michigan Man Sees Thanks to 'bionic Eye' S.C. Man Apologizes for Naked Walk in Wal-Mart Chief Mate: Crew Told to Escape After Passengers
Opinion
House Ads
Night & Day
Twitter News
Follow us on twitter
Hyperlocal Search
Premier Guide
Find a business

Walking Fingers
Maps, Menus, Store hours, Coupons, and more...
Premier Guide
Front page