Published: February 29, 2008 03:51 pm      

UNCHECKED EGO: Bad. Darn It.

I have been wrestling lately with Eckhart Tolle. It's not as much fun as it sounds.

Tolle is a spiritual philosopher who writes about the path to peace and enlightenment. His first book, the best-seller, “The Power of Now,” recommended I learn to live in the present moment. He wrote that the path to enlightenment required me to recognize the damage that an unchecked ego can wreak on a life.

Now, I don't know about your ego, but he's surely right about mine. It's the reason for most of the discontent in my life, but I’ve always believed it was a useful tool to keep pushing me toward the success I hoped to achieve. I didn't want to give up my ego. Without it, I was sure I would go pull a chair up on the deck and sit in the sunshine all day, watching the squirrels. Reading a novel. Accomplishing nothing.

Not too long ago, however, I realized that my ego was getting louder and louder, yammering at me from the moment my feet hit the floor in the morning. Standing in front of the bathroom mirror, my hair askew and my face still wrinkled from my pillow, my ego was already in full boar.

"My God, look at you. You are a mess. You slept too long and now you’re late. You better hurry."

Unchecked, my ego pressed and pushed. You must do this. There isn't enough. Hurry. Hurry. Have to get more things. Have to achieve more success.

Finally, one morning, I made a conscious decision to turn it off. I wanted quiet in my mornings and I got it. It was lovely. And finally, I understood.

Unchecked ego. Bad. Darn it, Tolle was right.

That’s why I picked up his latest book, “A New Earth: Awakening to Your Life’s Purpose.” Now I was ready to listen to what he has to say about my ego. All of our egos. Our collective ego. He thinks the unchecked ego is the cause of all evil in the world.

Tolle writes that the ego needs to be right and it needs to triumph over others. And it is never satisfied. The ego says, "How dare you, or "I resent this.” He says that only by being aware of the voice in your head can you understand consciousness.

When I finally shut down the bossy voice in my head, I went on to have a happy day. So every time it started picking away at me, pointing out the arrogance or stupidity of another driver or an oversight by another human, or how inept I was, I would consciously seek the quiet instead. I came to see that I was only unhappy, I was only discontent, I was only ticked off if I listened to my ego. Since I didn't want to be any of those things, I tried to listen less. And found a little more peace in my life.

So I started, reluctantly, to listen a little more closely to Tolle. He says there is only one perpetrator of evil on the planet — human unconsciousness, empowered by the ego, and that the fear, greed and desire for power the ego stirs up, are the motivating forces behind warfare and violence between all people.

If you are interested at all in why humans behave as they do, it’s pretty interesting stuff to explore. But while I eventually came to understand the whole ego thing, at least as it relates to me, I really resisted the whole "present moment thing" he’s been writing about.

Whenever there is discontent, whenever something is preventing you from being at peace now, it's the ego at work, he writes. And he believes there is only one way to peace right now — by living in the present.

I really resisted that idea. I am a writer. I live in the daydreams of my past and the stories of the future, re-imagining new endings, creating new beginngs. The present moment isn't nearly as much fun as all the stories that fill my head. So I’m not keen on stepping outside of all that amusement and directing my attention to this moment in time.

However, I am unhappy with the state of the world. I hate the violence and evil in which we participate. I hate the way we ravage the Earth. Those disturbances in my force leave me constantly ill at ease. My ego shouts, “You must do something. You can change the world. If you work hard enough, dream big enough, you can find the right words to make everybody behave.”

Yes. Right. Even though I know that every wise person and saint has essentially said the same thing. Be the change you want to see in the world. Find your own peace first.

That said, I have begun to take Tolle even more seriously. He tells a story about the famed guru, Krishnamurti, in front of a large audience, about to tell the secret to life.

“This is my secret,” he said. "I don't mind what happens."

I have been niggling with those words since I read them. Because that monk believed that when you accept what is occurring in the present moment — when you make it your friend — you are in alignment with what is.

“When the basis for your actions is in inner alignment with the present moment, your actions be come empowered by the Intelligence of life itself,” Tolle writes.

After I started reading “A New Earth,” warming up to its contents, I learned that TV star and global philanthropist Oprah Winfrey had also been touched by Tolle and has selected the book as one of her book club choices. Further, tomorrow, she is creating the first free global Internet classroom where people around the planet can learn more about Tolle's philosophy.

So, at 9 p.m. Monday, I will be sitting at my computer, along with classmates from around the world, and we will be examining Tolle's work together through a link on Oprah.com.

As a writer who cares deeply about human issues, I feel like I have to be a part of this class. As a person who cares deeply about my own peaceful empowerment, and my ability to contribute to the world, I have to be part of this class.

I know I'll be writing about what I learn. Maybe you'll want to join me. If you do, I'd love to know what you think. And maybe you won’t. I’d still love to know what you think.

Contact editor Michele DeLucaat 693-1000, ext. 157,or delucam@gnnewspaper.com.