Niagara Gazette

Local News

January 11, 2013

ROOT: He ain't heavy, he's my hockey league

(Continued)

Niagara Gazette — Yeah, I know there are other hockey leagues I could be friends with, and I actually have some very good acquaintances that are hockey leagues. I like the AHL from time to time, and I have even knocked back a few with the KHL. But the NHL is that friend that you get completely drunk with and then wind up in a Canadian jail for reasons that are still unclear. When you wake up on the cell bench, you can see the NHL sitting in the corner of the cell, smiling. “I have no idea what happened,” the NHL tells you. “Besides, you were driving.”

I suppose I could find other hockey leagues that don’t take me for granted all the time and that understand how hard I work for my money. But those leagues are so boring. When the NHL enters a room, he commands attention. The NHL has charisma oozing from every pore of his body. Everyone, whether they admit it or not, wants to be able to say that they are close friends with the NHL. But there are only a few of us that really understand what it means to be friends with such a conceited and unfeeling hockey league.

Besides, the NHL is not a complete monster. When the October storm took out the power in half of Western New York, the NHL did a silly dance and made us forget all about the weather. Our basements may have been flooding, but we were all happy to hang out with the NHL for the night.

When a plane crashed into a residential neighborhood and killed innocent people, the NHL put his arm around Western New York and made us feel a little better. Yeah, it was just a hockey game, but it gave us something to cheer about when all we really wanted to do was cry.

Text Only | Photo Reprints
Local News
Featured Ads
Seasonal Content
House Ads
AP Video
Texas Scientists Study Ebola Virus Smartphone Powered Paper Plane Debuts at Airshow Southern Accent Reduction Class Cancelled in TN Raw: Deadly Landslide Hits Indian Village Obama Chides House GOP for Pursuing Lawsuit New Bill Aims to Curb Sexual Assault on Campus Russia Counts Cost of New US, EU Sanctions 3Doodler Bring 3-D Printing to Your Hand Six PA Cops Indicted for Robbing Drug Dealers Britain Testing Driverless Cars on Roadways Raw: Thousands Flocking to German Crop Circle At Least 20 Chikungunya Cases in New Jersey Raw: Obama Eats Ribs in Kansas City In Virginia, the Rise of a New Space Coast Raw: Otters Enjoy Water Slides at Japan Zoo NCAA Settles Head-injury Suit, Will Change Rules Raw: Amphibious Landing Practice in Hawaii Raw: Weapons Fire Hits UN School in Gaza Raw: Rocket Launches Into Space With Cargo Ship Broken Water Main Floods UCLA
Opinion
House Ads
Night & Day
Twitter News
Follow us on twitter
Hyperlocal Search
Premier Guide
Find a business

Walking Fingers
Maps, Menus, Store hours, Coupons, and more...
Premier Guide
Front page
Poll

Do you think cigarette sales to non-Native American customers should be taxed on reservations?

Yes. Items should be taxed like they are everywhere else.
No, the indian reservations are sovereign land and they are selling them on their land.
Not up to me. Native Americans decide the rules on their land.
Don't care. Smoking isn't good for you.
     View Results