Published: August 04, 2008 09:18 pm      

WILSON: Forum addresses suicide, relationships

Every year, Carolyn Molloski, Wilson High School’s health teacher, passes a balloon around the room.

Each student gives the balloon one puff of air, representing something in their lives that worries or bothers them.

By the time the balloon reaches the front of the room again, it’s filled with so much air that it would burst if it were passed around again.

“That’s exactly what happens when we get filled up with emotion we can’t handle,” Molloski said Monday, as she spoke to an assembled group of parents and school personnel. “We could burst.”

Monday night’s gathering at Wilson High School brought in about 50 parents, students and staff members, who were invited by administrators to learn about suicide prevention and healthy teen relationships.

The forum was in response to the deaths of two recent Wilson graduates — Shawn Wolf, 19, and Kari Gorman, 18 — who were victims of a reported murder-suicide June 23.

Sheriff’s deputies say Wolf shot Gorman, his girlfriend, in his bedroom that morning, then drove to a cemetery in Youngstown, where his father is buried, and shot himself.

Wolf and Gorman were 2008 graduates of WHS.

The incident has left the community shaken, Superintendent Michael Wendt said, and administrators want to reach out.

“Kids, teenagers, everyone impacted, those who were really close to these individuals, they need that stability,” Wendt said.

About 50 people attended Monday night’s meeting, which included a presentation by Molloski and a chance for people to speak privately with a grief counselor from Niagara Hospice.

“We’re here for you,” High School Principal Dan Johnson told the crowd. “We’re going to do what we have to do to meet your needs.”

Molloski showed the crowd examples of handouts she gives to her students in class, with information about suicide and depression.

“Teenagers are the barometers of society,” she said. “Or teens are under a lot more pressure than some of us even realize.”

Suicide becomes an option to those who feel they have no other way out, she said.

Someone who is suicidal may display social withdrawal, prolonged sadness or changes in eating and sleeping patterns. They may lose interest in daily activities or turn to alcohol and drugs, she said.

According to the National Institute of Mental Health, suicide is the third-leading cause of death among people ages 15 to 24.

Molloski said it’s important for a person to know where they can go to seek help.

“When a person gets all walled in and they don’t see any way out, that’s when we’ve got a problem,” she said.

JoAnn Carpenter, one of the district’s six guidance counselors, told parents they can always contact the school for help.

“Please use us,” she said. “We’re here to help your child, not only academically and socially, but also emotionally.”

Molloski also spoke to the crowd about healthy dating, describing a “cycle of violence” that sometimes takes over teen relationships.

“It’s like a volcano,” she said.

Healthy relationships are built on a strong support network of respect, trust, honesty and self-esteem, while dangerous relationships are built on jealousy, emotional abuse, intimidation and isolation.

“You hear about (emotional abuse) quite a bit,” Molloski said.

The guidance department can refer students to outside agencies if needed, sometimes working with health insurance companies to find a physician or other professional who can help.

Wendt said he hopes the school can act as a “conduit” for people who need help.

“Geographically, Wilson is far away from major metropolitan areas,” he said. “We want to do our best to be sure that people understand that they can access the agencies that are located in major metropolitan areas.”

The most important thing is communication, Molloski said, addressing the parents in the crowd.

“We don’t have to be liked by our kids,” she said. “We have to set ground rules, ask questions ... never give up on it.”