Niagara Gazette — The famous author, Paulo Coelho, once wrote “We can never judge the lives of others, because each person knows only their own pain and renunciation. It’s one thing to feel that you are on the right path, but it’s another to think that yours is the only path.”
In my opinion, being judg-mental is one of the more common forms of emotional constipation. It serves little purpose to you or those you judge. Most people find themselves judging others as a way of making themselves feel superior, but sadly this is not usually the case. The reality is that those who judge most are typically insecure and are just grasping for reasons to feel better about themselves.
What makes people lack empathy and appear so cold? Besides insecurity, there are some mental disorders that may be to blame. Steve Jobs was thought to have Narcissistic Personality Disorder. Anyone who knew him would agree, yet he served a great purpose during his short life on earth. He lacked empathy for many and was well known for his arrogance and self-centered ways.
Those suffering from Obsessive- Compulsive Personality Disorder will find fault in almost everyone. They typically say or think that those in their surrounding are too fat or thin, they are not clean enough or that they dress or look horrible. They can criticize almost every aspect of someone.
These are just a few examples of where there is an actual disorder that explains the harshness. They know no other way and rarely will be cured of their judgmental ways. You may have a few of these people in your life and at least now you yourself might be able look at them with a bit more empathy.
On a milder note, most of us judge all the time. We may not say anything, but we think it. We do not wish harm on anyone, but we judge them based on what we think is right or wrong. When did “we” become such experts?
I myself found that I was doing this more frequently than I’d like to admit at the grocery store. I found myself watching 50 year-old people walking as if they were 80 years old. Looking in their grocery cart, I thought I knew why. I hated when I did this. It did not make me feel good about myself and it served the target of my judgment no purpose. This is, in part, why I write these articles—to serve a purpose.
If you want to experience the lighter, happier life of the non-judgmental person, I recommend the following. Putting this simple tool in place will change your life for the better and for those who believe in karma, you’ll have a lot to look forward to.
The next time you find yourself negatively judging someone, turn it to the opposite. If, for example, you judge someone who is overweight, send them wishes of health and happiness. Now, when I find myself in the grocery store, I do the same. This takes the responsibility off me (not that it was any of my business anyway) and leaves them with some healing wishes they will absolutely benefit from.
Apply this to any situation you tend to judge. In a way, you will be paying it forward and the good wishes you have sent out will leave you feeling refreshed and positive. It will become one of the little things that make your day so much better.
This is my favorite quote that hangs in my office. “A person who blames others has not begun his/her education. A person who blames him/herself has begun his/her education. A person who blames no one has finished his/her education. The goal is no judgment. Nothing good, nothing bad.” –anonymous.