Niagara Gazette

July 20, 2013

COPS NOTEBOOK: You just can't make this stuff up

By Rick Pfeiffer
Niagara Gazette

From the "We Don't Make This Stuff Up Department" comes this gem.

On July 12, Lewiston Police stopped a man, at 2:30 p.m. on Dickersonville Road. Turned out the 70-year-old motorist was driving without a license.

The lack of license had nothing to do with his age or driving skills. Rather, the man's license was suspended for what police described as his "numerous" prior driving while intoxicated arrests.

The driver was ticketed for third-degree aggravated unlicensed operation of a motor vehicle.

And why, you ask, was he driving on a suspended license? Take a guess?

He was going to the store to get beer!

I suppose it could have been worse. He could have had a few cold ones before heading out for more.

A helping hand

It should be a fundamental tenant of committing crime: leave no clues behind.

But sometimes criminals leave cops a roadmap right to their doors.

Take the shoplifting case of Deon Lorese Johnson. 

Johnson apparently decided she was in need of some face cream.  OK, $164 worth of face cream.

And Johnson decided she'd apply a five-finger discount to get that face cream. 

As she left a Portage Avenue store with her deeply discounted Oil of Olay, Johnson was stopped by security officers. A struggle ensued and Johnson dropped the bag she was using to carry the face cream out of the store.

The security officer recovered the bag, the face cream and Johnson's Niagara County jail prisoner ID bracelet that she had conveniently left in the bag as well.

Case closed.

Helping hand part two

Along the lines of the Johnson case, comes an incident in the Falls that should further remind those who steal not to leave their IDs behind.

A 31-year-old man attempted to charge the purchase of gas at a Niagara Falls Boulevard service station, but his card didn't seem to be working at the pump. The man went inside, gave his driver's license to the clerk and she authorized the pump.

The man then pumped $45 worth of fuel into his car and proceeded to drive away, leaving is driver's license behind.

Make that two cases closed.

Nifty ninja dresser

The more a victim can recall about what a suspect looks like, the better. Even if the suspect is a "ninja."

A 50-year-old man from Packard Court told Falls police he was awakened in his bedroom last Friday morning by someone wearing a "ninja costume." But not just your average, ordinary ninja costume. Oh no, this stealthy criminal, according to the victim, was wearing "a high quality ninja costume." 

I'm no expert, but I'm thinking it probably wasn't really a ninja. 

I mean, if he was really a ninja, he wouldn't have woken the victim up in the first place.