Niagara Gazette

Columns

October 9, 2012

BRADBERRY: What would you do with a magic wand?

(Continued)

Niagara Gazette — The woman with the saddest story was selected by the studio audience based on their applause as measured by the official “Applause Meter.”

Awarded her prizes, the winner was frocked in a beautiful sable-trimmed red velvet official queen robe and a dazzling jewel encrusted crown, handed an arm-full of roses and entertained with a fashion show highlighting the latest in royal finery.

Exactly what a person in need, needs, right?

Maybe, maybe not, but can you imagine what WE (Niagarans) might ask for if we were on such a show?

How about roads, more police and fire protection, and a few hundred houses and other derelict buildings demolished to make way for new, real development and businesses that could be added to the tax rolls, providing good paying private sector jobs … I mean, the prize list could go on and on, and surely we’d have the saddest story. Surely we’d break the Applause Meter and alas, become City for a Day!

I wondered what people would do today if they could become Queen/King for a Day complete with an actual working magic wand, so I asked around.

To my surprise, people were more generous than I would have given them credit for, some less so.

Highest on my totally unscientific survey in terms of the number of times it was mentioned was “world peace” and lowest was a suggestion that I shove my wand where the “sun don’t shine.”

I assume they meant Seattle.

Naturally, the response you get to that question depends entirely on whom you ask.

Children tended more toward toys, candy and ice-cream, and people more focused on material things focused on more material things.

A few, worn down and out by the constant barrage of local and national campaign cacophony said they would make politics and politicians totally disappear, but a growing crescendo of local folks said they wondered if they could use the power to make the governor APPEAR in Niagara Falls to announce a settlement to the state/Seneca stalemate that is threatening the city’s solvency and remaining sanity.

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