Niagara Gazette

Columns

February 7, 2014

HAMILTON: Soul food, white knuckles and Kardashian tans

Niagara Gazette — Why do we have a Black History Month?

Why don’t you wonder why our local supermarkets have aisles that are marked Asian, Italian and Hispanic foods, but none that say African or Soul Foods? 

Have you ever felt so brave and confident on a roller coaster or on a fast dropping airplane that you described the experience as having a black-knuckle experience?

Of course not; and even though I have had some rather hairy experiences in which I had held on for dear life, I have never had a “white-knuckle” experience. 

Another thing, have you ever saw or hear something that thoroughly amused you so much so that you were tickled brown? 

That’s cool. I have had some of the same experiences and I wasn’t tickled pink, either. When I am embarrassed, I do not turn red; but I understand it when whites use such terms to describe themselves.

In the Zoom/Kardashian tan commercial, one of the formerly white girls said that everybody looks better with a tan, and everyone should want one; yet, I don’t see a bunch of black women out on the beach trying to get one, or lying in the snow trying to lighten up.

Blacks in this country are inundated with subtle messages that directly relates to whites, but not to us. If we mention too often that we are black, then we are being racist. But you can proclaim the fact that you are Irish as often as you want, and that is alright — because Irish is a white ethnicity and black ain’t, well, nothing but a race, so it seems.

And how long do you think that Volkswagen of yours will last? Will it last as long as the pyramids of northern Africa?

I doubt it; and so I wonder how a company could market a product with the ethnic superior tagline of, “The power of German engineering”? Are all Germans really better than all others? 

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