Published: March 30, 2009 08:14 pm      

CONFER: Bob Confer: Terrorist

Long-time readers of this column probably have a good idea about who I am. You’ve been subjected to my rants about and against illegal immigration, gun control, abortion, the North American Union, the Federal Reserve, taxes, and the economic irresponsibility of the government. You’ve read of my support for the Libertarian Party and third-party candidates. Chances are you’ve also heard me on Scott Leffler’s talk show denouncing ballistics tracking, Constitutional Conventions, and government in general. You might also know that I travel with a CB radio in my vehicle and I use social networking sites like Facebook to share my views and rally support for them. And, you can probably judge by my mugshot that I keep my hair closely-cropped – some might even say I’m a “skinhead.”

I’ll bet, though, that you didn’t know that I’m a terrorist.

Yes sir, I’m an honest-to-goodness right-wing domestic terrorist. You know, one of those “militants.”

I didn’t know I was one, either. There have been times when I wondered if the feds might think I was a terrorist, an enemy of the state thanks to my pithy columns. But, now, I am totally confident that I’ve been lumped together with guys as despised as Tim McVeigh, David Koresh and the Unabomber.

At least that’s what the Missouri Information Analysis Center would like people to believe. The MIAC is one of 58 fusion centers across the United States, created by the Department of Homeland Security to study the habits of, and create a unified plan against, terrorists. A few weeks ago, the MIAC issued an eight-page briefing entitled “The Modern Militia Movement” in which they have identified the mentality and distinguishing characteristics of domestic terrorists. It’s a field guide of sorts to aid law enforcement in determining if you or I might be someone to keep an eye on.

There just might be an intelligence agent watching me right now because I’m the perfect example of what a militiaman is supposed to be. Based on the criteria they’ve laid out in the report, I’m 0-for-15 in the model citizen department just because of the things I’ve mentioned in the opening paragraph alone. Every one of those items is listed as a tell-tale sign of a militant, so, I am, in their eyes, a danger. Consider that from the get-go, there are 15 strikes against me. In total, that’s impressive, perhaps frightening by MIAC standards. Many are quite damning if you consider how hard some of my stances have been regarding the issues.

Think about the stupidity of Homeland Security’s logic: believing in the American Way supposedly predisposes people like me to be wishful of its destruction. And I thought I was being a good citizen. Never have I initiated my so-called terrorist ways in any sort of violent intent towards our nation and our people. My written assaults on bad government are always looking out for the best interests of the people, peacefully, logically and with respect for our Constitution. God forbid that I think that important document should mean something. Reports like the MIAC’s show that maybe it doesn’t anymore.

And that, folks, shows how depraved our federal government has become. Hard-earned taxpayer money went into this foolish study, one clearly indicating that those with an outspoken belief in what government should be — and not what it has become — deserve to be looked at with disdain.

Well, at least I can take some comfort in knowing I’m not alone. You’re probably just as guilty as I. All of you who complain about taxes, are disgusted with Congress and read this subversive newspaper deserve to be saddled with this ill-begotten stereotype and can count yourselves as a member of a militia movement.

I trust, though, that you, like me, won’t be deterred by this name-calling. If what I do and what I am makes me a threat, then so be it: I’m a terrorist and proud of it!

Bob Confer is a Gasport resident and vice president of Confer Plastics Inc. in North Tonawanda. E-mail him at bobconfer@juno.com.